Curso Soft Skills

SOFT SKILLS FOR TEACHERS

COMFORT ZONE:

·      Going out of the comfort zone: the larger is the circle, more thins I am confortable to do. Not going out of it, means not taking risks.

The comfort zone implies LIMITS. “I should do, what I think that I cannot do.”

Exercise: write in your diary 3 beliefs that you think in this moment are limited your life and write for each one, at least 3 things you could do to solve show yourself you can do it.

Core beliefs: things you know and things you believe that are true about yourself regardless about what anyone thinks or feels about you. If it’s your reality you control your own reality and therefore you control your own belief system. What you actually are is only limited by what you think about yourself or better out: what you know you are.

We build a castle of beliefs. Positive beliefs make you feel comfortable, negative beliefs don’t. You can build your own beliefs; you have to work on it. We have to discipline yourself and look if there is something behind them. (For example: not being constant in sports can be related to a core belief of being too busy. It is not a priority if you aren’t doing it.)

Exercise: create a poster whit the name, a line for the comfort zone and then create a runner to paste it in the poster so you can move it everyday. Ask yourself: Did I do something to get closer to my objective? And move the counter after reflection.

SOFT SKILLS

·      They are related to interpersonal skills (emotional).

Interpersonal attributes:	Personal attributes:
-       Empathy -       Communication -       Leadership -       Teamwork -       Good manners -       Flexibility -       Mentoring -       Ability to teach -       Works well with diversities -       Self-confidence	-       Optimism -       Responsibility -       Sense of humour -       Integrity -       Time management -       Motivation -       Common sense -       Positivity

SOFT KILLS

TEAM SPIRIT

SELF-CONFIDENT

TRUSTWORTHINESS

ASSERTIVENESS

INQUISITIVENESS + CREATIVITY

COMMUNICATION

To work with soft skills we should choose to work it in a theoretical way, they should do something practical (play a game…). A simple group exercise can help the children to develop many soft skills.

NLP (NeuroLinguisticProgramming)

·      Basic concepts

-       Related with psychology and linguistic. Neurology: our brain/Linguistic: our language/Programming: brain + linguistic we can use to program it.

-       Miscalled “Manipulation”: positive manipulation used by teachers, sellers, politicians…

-       It’s how to have relations with people. How to use techniques to use the minds own language to consistently achieve specific and desired outcomes.

-       You are the best to try these strategies in yourself. OBSERVE YOURSELF! Go deep in your behaviour.

-       There is a need of patters, models and modules. We are working with codes in our brains.

-       You have to think about objectives: How should I behave to achieve it?

-       NLP can help you to red between lines (expressions…)

NEURO	LINGUISTIC:	PROGRAMMING
Ø  Thinking patterns. Ø  Coding of experience and learning by the brain. Ø  Thinking affects results Ø  Thinking affects our (subjective) experience.	Ø  Understanding the language of the mind. Ø  Using persuasive language. Ø  Using body language. Ø  Influencing behaviour and elicit specific responses by use of advanced tools of verbal and non-verbal communication.	Ø Installing, creating and improving strategies for thinking. Ø Using thought patterns to program specific desired outcomes. Ø Learn how to run the brain to achieve excellence and resolution to problems.

When you find someone similar to you, you can trust him or her easier because you think that she or he would be similar to you and you would know how things work. But when someone is different you can work with mirroring: copying the person’s attitude in order to manipulate his or her behaviour without speaking. You star copying the movements of the person and then you change your movements in order to change hers.

NLP presuppositions

1.     You cannot not communicate. Every kind of movement, language, tone o f the voice communicates something. Every kind of communication has some relation with the metacommunication (composed by a movement: storytelling…). Relationship is the command part of the message or how it is non-verbally said. You have to look for the correct channel to communicate with other people (in order to create a REPORT). Each one has different procedures in mind due to their channels (visual, auditory, kinaesthetic…). The visual channel normally appears in gestures with hands or pointing to things. Human communication involves both digital and analog (stuck) modalities. Inter-human communication procedures are either symmetric or complementary.   Elements on which you have to focus and empathize: -       Voice -       Movements and posture -       Micro-expressions (face expressions):

2.     People respond to their experience not to reality itself. -       Bain’s frameworks: how we create our own map of the world. -       The crayon, the heater, the spider Experience: The child takes a crayon and draws on the wall, then his mother says “Good job.” That fact would be related with happy emotions. The child goes in the other room and there is a heater opened on the floor. He sees it, calls his attention and wants to touch it. And he touches it and gets burned. He now knows that the experience is negative. The child is in the room and a big spider appears. He is playing with it, the mother enters, sees the spider, starts to shout, takes the kid and goes out. The emotion that he is transmitting is fear. Every time that the child sees a spider he will have fear, due to the MATRIX (not to his own experience). -       THE MATRIX: We collect there the entire framework that we see in reality. The way we give meaning to experiences, people, things, ideas etc. Is the virtual universe in which where we organize we map. -       It is important to understand how experience can affect our beliefs. -       We are “Meaning producers” and each event or experience will affect our vision of the world. In order to work on the Matrix, we should look at the core beliefs that are behind a problem. Go really deep in yourself, until you think that you cannot continue going on.

3.     The map is not the territory.

4.     Everyone is doing the best they can with the resources they have available. Everyone has all the resources they need to succeed and to achieve their desired outcomes. If you believe you cannot, you won’t. As if strongly you belief you can, you will. Everybody puts limits to himself or herself. The structure of the core belief makes yourself. You have to observe yourself and test in your own MATRIX.

There are two primary ways in which we make sense of the world:

CONSCIOUSLY

UNCONSCIOUSLY

v The 7+ rule:

It’s easier to memorize the information in chunks.

The brain can elaborate between 5 and 9 chunks of information. This is because the information has to go in the conscious side, once its there we can learn something new. We have to make space one by one for new information.

Exercise:
Try to memorize it in 10 seconds. MUTMBAKOYGAB	Try to memorize it in 5 seconds. MUT    MBA    KOY   GAB

About our brain’s senses: NLP Communication Model

Sensory channel Visual: ·        Can learn from movies, documentaries, needs images to learn, very active and energetic. ·      Movements ·      Learn with pictures ·      Really open posture as tries to get out. ·      Use words like: Look, imagine… Auditory: ·       Internal posture in order to perceive the intonation of the surrounding.  They normally use monophone and low voice. ·       Posture close ·       Not much movement. ·       Use words like: Listen… Kinaesthetic: ·      Related with emotion. Take things to heart. ·      Slow movements. ·      Use words like: I feel, feel like… ·      “Hippies” are example of kinaesthetic. Olfactory Gustatory

Sensory filters

Sensory map Sensory experience What you, see, hear, feel, taste and smell

CREATE A RAPPORT

Make some trust you. One of the main things to take into account is the channel.

Elements:

1.     Understand in which channel is the person communicating. Then use that channel to communicate with that person.

2.     Physical mirroring of individual’s physiology. Copying the movements of another person will make the other person belief that he or she is similar, and it will be easier to trust. “Hey, (s)he is like me!”

3.     To match their voice: the tone, tempo, timbre and the volume. You can also match key words. Perhaps they often use “Actually”. You can use it in a sentence several times. Say it back to them.

4.     Match the breathing: you can pace someone’s breathing by breathing at exactly the same time as they do  (matching the in and out breath).

5.     Match the common experiences: this is actually called rapport. When meeting we often match common experiences. It’s a way to create associations, because in that way they will believe on you and trust you. Base of the leadership.

NEGATION: when you say a negation to your brain it won’t understand it. This is a way of thinking, always say the things in positive and tell that to people. Use positive words:

I WON’T GET SICK = I AM HEALTHY

CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

Mind map

It’s a tool that helps us to achieve common understanding in a concept. Brainstorming can be used (it helps us to build our mind map).  Through this activity we can achieve common understanding.

Exercise:

Create a mind map for the word CONFLICT:

 https://www.mindmeister.com

 https://www.mindmup.com

Create a definition.

Definitions:

-       Opposition between different ideas.

-       Negative result of incompatibility of ideas, feelings, attitudes, opinions between two or more parts.

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAOICItn3MM

Exercise: “Conflict managements style market”

Hand out five pieces of paper with five conflict styles with their definitions. In other colourful papers we have

-       Meanings market

-       Pros market

-       Cons market

-       Example market

CONFLICT STYLE	MEANING	PROS	CONS	EXAMPLE
DOMINATE CONTROL	Win at all costs or expense of others	Usually fast	Can offend and hurt others in the process.	We’ll do it in my way, lets just get the job done.
AVOID	Disregard own need or others needs.	Stay out of trouble for the time being.	Can lead to unresolved problems and resentment.	Forget about it. Let’s not make a big deal.
ACCOMMODATE	Put the others needs first.	Can keep the peace.	Can lead to unresolved problems and resentment.	Whatever you want is fine with me.
COMPROMISE	Seeking little wins and little concessions.	Helpful if the issue is comple.	Helpful if the issue is complex.	I’ll meet you half way.
COLLABORATE	Discuss and problem solve and seek mutually beneficial outcomes.	Create mutual trust. Maintaining positive relationships and build commitments.	It takes time and energy.	I’d like to do it this way what would you like? Let’s see how we can find a way for both of us to get what we want.

CONFLICT STYLES

Dominate control/Competing:

Seeing conflicts and problems as contests to be won or lost – and it’s important to be the winner. This approach is often the result of an unconscious wish to protect oneself from the pain of being wrong. It is sometimes necessary if there is imminent danger, but often gives rise to more conflict later as the hurt of the loser is translated into aggression. People assert themselves and do not cooperate while pursuing their own concers at another’s expense.

Avoid:

Withdrawing, either physically or emotionally, form a conflict gives you no say in what happens, but it may be wise to do so when the matter is not your business. A danger is that it can allow a problem to grow unchecked, and if used unscrupously, avoidance can punish others. People often use this approach to make others change their minds. But, like other forms of coercion, this has its cost. People who avoid conflict are generally unassertive and uncooperative. ·      Not create a solution.

Accommodate:

Peace at any cost is the reason behind this approach. You emphasise areas of agreement and smooth over, or ignore, disagreements. If you don’t say what you are thinking others cannot know, and therefore they are powerless to deal with the conflict. This approach can be useful if conflict would put too much pressure on a relationship, and sometimes things do not get better because you remain good friends. People who are unassertive and very cooperative. ·      Give in during a conflict. ·      Put the relationship first.

Compromise:

Everyone gains something and loses something. It is a common way of dealing with conflict, but tends to lead to rather short-term “solutions”. It may leave everyone feeling they have lost something important, and it closes off the option that a better solution (for example, increasing the amount of resources available) may be possible. Compromisers are moderately assertive and moderately cooperative. ·      Temporary solutions.

Collaborate/Problem solving:

Otherwise known as the “win-win2 approach, in which conflicts are viewed as “problems to solve between us”. In many situations all those involved in a conflict situation can win significant gains. It puts an equal priority on the relationship with the other parties and on a mutually satisfying outcome. While it is most effective way to get fair and lasting solutions in many situation “but not all, by all means” it is far from an easy option. Highest in the ranking. Collaborators are both assertive and cooperative. ·      Requires time and effort.

WHAT IS CONFLICT?

Disagreement through which parties involved perceive a threat to their needs, interest or concerns.

Where does it come from?

·      Goals

·      Personality conflicts

·      Scarce resources

·      Styles (thinking style or communication styles)

·      Values

Conflict management style:

It is a form or attitude that we employ to try to intervene in a conflict with others.

Positive things:

-       Learn from experience.

-       Opportunity to transform a situation into something better.

Five styles of conflict management:

100%

Which one is the best?

ü  Every conflict needs a different approach. There is no best.

ü  Knowing yourself ad fully understanding the situation will help you understand the conflict management style needed.

ü  Try a scenario –based approach to test effectiveness of different approaches to different situations.

ü  Each communication style can refer to a different conflict management style (referring to more than one).

Communication styles	Conflict management style
Assertive style	Collaboration
Aggressive style	Dominant style
Passive-Aggressive style	Avoiding/Accommodation (I have nothing to lose but I still may need to win something)
Submissive	Avoiding (Nothing to lose at all)
Manipulating	Dominant